Dual....:-)
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
