Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
