you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
