Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
