in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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