he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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