6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
