just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
