you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
