Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
