In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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