bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
