Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
