you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
