Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
