Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
