When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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