Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm passing your future prison.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
