I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We were destined to go to rehab together
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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