Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
