yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
