I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
