Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
