I am in a vortex of obligation.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
