My underwear smells like fireworks.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Come share oat with me in your robe
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
