and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
