he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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