Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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