Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
