doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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