Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
