Joe is yelling at the trees again.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
