Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
