I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
