I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
