I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize