the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
