do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
