So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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