i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
