Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
