toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Randomize