Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
