you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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