Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
