TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize