is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
