i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
