After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
