the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
