Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Randomize
