Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
