I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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