well you can't waste a boner
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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