can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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