the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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