Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize