I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
