Non-Jews are for practice
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
