I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
